I have made a few positive changes in my life over the past 6 weeks. I knew that my life had become stagnant due to lack of focus on a meaningful activity. I still clung to the hope that somehow I would start photographing again, but the hope faded and set somewhere between the new year and now. I am firmly convinced that portion of my life has come to an end.
There is a sadness that clings to me as I recall many special days during my life as photographer. There is also a sense of satisfaction due to having worked so hard with the camera, and knowing that I achieved what I set out to do – to become more intimate with it than anything I had previously known, and to see what it felt like to be good at something.
I sometimes carried the belief that I would die before finishing my work, but I made it to the end and am still here. Having put all doubts aside about its completion, I can now move forward with a feeling of freshness, that before me lies a destination and that I have the freedom to choose how I want to arrive.
Life once again brims with possibility, and time becomes the ultimate wealth. I judge richness not by money, but by how each moment of the day is spent - poorness belongs to the bored.
To make wise use of my time I decided that my computer usage had to decrease, as most of the things I was using it for were useless and petty. Thus far I have been successful. I check my email once a week, instead of 3-4 times per day. I no longer read news/propanganda of any kind and have stopped following sports. Computer time per day has been cut to 0-15 minutes, as compared to 2-3 hours before my change.
I have decided that music is something which I want to learn well, so I have decided to pursue the guitar in the same way I pursued the camera – with vigor, faith, and an openness to see what will happen when an activity is pursued everday with concentration and effort.
I have played the guitar everyday since purchasing it in December. When I began I lasted 15 minutes per session before my fingers became sore. I cut a gash in my thumb from finger picking the first week, and thereafter switched to using a pick. My fingers now have a tough skin on the tips, and I can play for 60-90 minutes per session. Some days I play 2-3 sessions. with a max time of 2 hours total.
I decided to begin taking lessons. I thought of Melinda, and wished she still lived in Urbana, because having her as a music teacher would be a joy and an inspiration. With Melinda not around, I decided to throw the dice and pick a random teacher. I have had 1 lesson with Lou. He asked if I wanted to learn to read music – of course I do, so this past week I have been struggling to learn the tonal alphabet. He asked me to learn the few notes to Ode to Joy by Beethoven, and to practice the chord pattern of G/C/G/D – G/C/D/G . He also gave me a sheet with 4 guitar scales to practice and memorize.
I have been working with the lesson for 6 days, and can now play the Ode to Joy melody, have worked the chord pattern, also adding a C/F/G and Am/Em/C pattern, and I memorized the 4 scales. Tomorrow is lesson 2.
Along with music, I decided to begin painting/drawing. I converted my upstairs painting studio into a music room, so I decided to convert the darkroom in the basement to my new painting space. I have begun working on an idea for a painting - Bunny’s Tavern Parking Lot. I have made one prep sketch so far, but need to make quite a few more drawings before settling in to paint it.
More to write and share, but my time is up for now….
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